Q: How did the cowboy know which horse was everyones favorite? With Southern Horspitality.Why are young horses often in trouble?They cant stop foaling around.What disease are horses most scared of getting?Hay fever.What do you call a truly international horse?A globe-trotter.Where do horses go if they need to have an operation?The horse-pital.100 years ago everyone owned horsesAnd only the rich owned carsNow everyone has a car,and only the rich own horsesThe stables have turnedThat horse is so spontaneous.It always does things in the spur of the moment! The bartender asked, Why such a long face?, A horse walks into a restaurant. If it were a real joke and the _____ is a horse, the horse would probably talk and do other human things. Just click the to create your snippet! These jokes about water are great water jokes for kids and adults. All Rights Reserved. How can you tell the difference between a horse and a pig?The horse is the one that doesnt look like a pig. The first dog says Ive won six of my last ten races. Animal Joke Where do horses live. But, what you probably didnt realize is that such a thing as a horse pun even exists. Why dont horses want to be left behind? These elephant jokes will get you a ton of laughs! She yelled, You cant mane me!. When do vampires like horse racing?When its neck and neck. 85.) Horses can sleep standing up or lying down. He graduated from the University of Nebraska-Omaha with a degree in Secondary Education, and he has his MS in Educational Leadership from Northwest Missouri State University. Q: What do you call a well-balanced horse? As equestrian lovers, it can be difficult sometimes to express the pure joy that comes to us when someone uses horse puns or drops some horse jokes. He stayed there for 3 days and then he came back on Friday. Have you watched the newest scary movie about horses? Kids have a lot of fun with these jokes. Thats not a lion thats a horse. WE ARE A PARTICIPANT IN THE AMAZON SERVICES LLC ASSOCIATES PROGRAM, AN AFFILIATE ADVERTISING PROGRAM DESIGNED TO PROVIDE A MEANS FOR US TO EARN FEES BY LINKING TO AMAZON.COM AND OTHER AFFILIATED SITES. 14.) When do vampires like horse racing? A: I cant hear you whinnie! A: Thoreau-Breads. 26.) When he steps outside again, he finds his horse has been stolen. 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side, 145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor, 155 Best Wedding Jokes to Kick off Your Speech, 160 Hilarious Wife Jokes to Spark Joy in Your Marriage, 150 Hilarious Train Jokes to Engineer Laughs on Your Face, 150 Hilarious Tree Jokes to Fresh Your Mind, 152 Hilarious Wine Jokes to Make Conversation More Enjoyable, 151 Hilarious Tomato Jokes That Are So Juicy. Why did the horse talk while his mouth was full? It gives you a bunch of short horse jokes for kids that you can use at home with the family or on those long car journeys. He ran out of sham-pony! Which planet loves to sing. Q: What did the waiter say to the horse? Old Jokes. Although the awkward dad joke silence must have been ringing in your ears, we hope you found a horse pun or two that you can use the next time you go to the stables. This section holds lots of jokes so kids can expand their sense of humor and creative thinking. Suitable for the young and old, these horse jokes for kids will have you in stitches. 68.) A: A buck. Yeah, before that race, I felt a pinch in my hindquarters., The other horse says, Funny, I felt a pinch in my hindquarters before the race that I won., A dog walking by says, You idiots, youre being doped. What did the horse say after she fell over? What do you call a horse thats been all around the world?A globe-trotter. What is a horses favorite state?Neigh-braska. The stubborn teacher snorted and said, It would be-hoof you to pay attention.. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe? Where do horses live in Harry Potter. They found a lot of foal play! What do you call a horse that cant lose a race?Sherbet.Whats black and white and eats like a horse?A zebra.Why should you never be rude to a jump jockey?In case he takes offence.What makes a horse sneeze?Hay fever.Rein it in with the gossip!Youll stirrup trouble.What sort of horses come out after dark?NightmaresWhy did the man stand behind the horse?He was hoping to get a kick out of it.Horses favourite vintage TV chef?Fanny Paddock.Look at that horses new boyfriend.Hes such a stud!What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?A neigh-bor.Horses favourite pop duo?Stall and Oats!Where do horses get their hair done?At the hair saloon.Whats a horses favourite TV show?Neighbours of course.I named my horse Mayo.Sometimes, Mayo-neighs. Power 99.1 - Dad Joke time! Q. 29.) You'll find the best horse jokes, including colt jokes, mare jokes, foal jokes, race horse jokes and more. One goes quick and the other goes quack. If animal puns make you laugh, scroll down this list of amazing horse jokes for adults. Here weve compiled a list of some of our favorite horse jokes one liners. Whos there?Quiet horse. Need more animal jokes? A: I can't take your order. 74.) I have repaired fences herded and tended to cows and caught escaped cows. Having a horse is a big responsibility. 11.) If you want to hear more funny animal jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes: Here are 35 funny gorilla jokes and the best gorilla puns to crack you up. Each night the kid balloon would get nightmares and go into the parents bed when they were asleep. He took the precious book out of the horses mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, Its a miracle! Not really, said the horse. At this point, the horses notice a greyhound who has been sitting there listening. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. 12.) 71.) Horses require tons of care. Funny animal jokes from Beano! 1. These jokes arent just for fun; theyre well worth the price of admission. What are you planning to do with that nag? the man asks. Dont miss these duck jokes thatll surely quack you up. 23 funny horse jokes to enjoy 1. A: Ney. Why did the cowboy feed his horse so much hay?He thought it would make it softer to ride on. Get off your high horse! What street did the horse live on?Mane Street. joke, The daddy balloon constantly told the kid balloon not to do this as it was disrupting his sleep schedule.But as the kid got older and older he began not to fit. What happens when a horse forgets its umbrella?It gets wet. A: The pinto. It was pasture bedtime! If you have kids and they have a sense of humor, these Clean Horse Jokes for Kids will make their day. 13.) Where do horses live? Riddle: A pig lives in a pig farm, a cow lives in a cow farm, a sheep lives in a sheep farm, a chiken lives in a chiken farm. 75.) I heard it from my brother The other boy was curious so he agreed and said yes. 1.) So 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud playing the harp and singing. A man decided riding a horse would be easy. How did the pony win the hide and seek game? 242 Funny Animal Jokes That Will Drive You Wild With Laughter. Toledo who?Toledo horse to water is easy. AND parents laugh at them, too! About Horses November 12, 2008. Q: What do you call a witch horse? Answer: The horses shadow. Q: What type of horse has trouble keeping track of its Ipad? Where do horses go when they're sick? A woman rode her horse all the way up a hill on Friday. 45.) Where does a horse go when it gets sick? 34.) The stubborn teacher snorted and said, "It would be-hoof you to pay attention." What do you give a sick horse?A cough stirrup. 18.) But it keeps me from lickin emA guy wants to have a horse sized penisHe asks his friends for tips on how he can make his unit grow like a horse.One of his friends says; tie a weight to it and you will see that it will start to grow.So off he goes. However, these creatures can sleep either standing up or lying down. 68 Hilarious Santa Jokes for the Holidays (Ho, Ho, Ho! Ive fallen and I cant giddy-up. Q: Why was Dick Clark so popular with horses? A: Thorough-bread. What kind of horse can swim underwater?A seahorse. We promise not to say anything too foal! Knock Knock.Whos there?Quiet horse.Quiet horse, who? The man throws some money on the bar puts on his coat and starts to leave. No cowboy's were harmed in the making of this dad joke.RIP Powers Boothe, such a legend!#dadjoke #dadjokes #dadjokesfordays #dadjokesdaily #dadjokesrule #dad. A. That is because most jokes are play-on-words, or they are funny because a word in the joke might have two meanings, or the word could be a homonym. Check out our entire collection of funny animal jokes. Have you ever met a horse that could make a sandwich? 2. See, it's hard to pin down what makes Bargatze funny, but whatever it is, it's all in that six-minute story. Q: What do young horses wrap their food in? Because he was a little hoarse. Q: How is an egg like a young horse? Some kind of animal!. Horsp who?Did you just say horse poo?, 97.) With jokes about paso finos and ponies, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face. What kind of dog has a bark but no bite. Theyre great to drop into your daily conversations too! From pig puns to whale wisecracks, there's definitely at least one joke on this list that will make your child literally laugh out loud. How do you know a horse has a negative attitude? Why the long face? Two racehorses are in a stable. Read More 45 Funny Minecraft JokesContinue. 38.) Kids will laugh out loud when they hear these jokes about horse. Tagged as: Youll be whinnying and neighing while clutching your sides as you read these short horse jokes. Q: What's the quickest way to mail a little horse? Q: Which baseball team frightens horses the most? Answer: His horses name is Friday. One of the boys says Hey you want to hear this dirty joke. Whats the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse?The ground. Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about horses that are also awesome horse jokes for adults and kids to be told! As the Desperado saddles up, a local cant help but ask, Sir, what exactly was it you had to do in Houston?, The Desperado narrows his eyes and hisses at the man, I had to walk home.. What animal has four legs and walks backward?A horse in reverse. The barman confuses idioms with jokes and offers him a glass of water, but cant make him drink.What did the horse say when it fell?Ive fallen and I cant giddyup!Which type of cheese do horses like best?Masc-a-ponyWhat do you give a horse with a sore throat?Cough stirrup.Why was the horse feeling so stressed?It was saddled with responsibility!How can you tell a police horse from a normal horse? Check out these 14 hilarious pun cartoons that never get old. How did the other horse respond when the restaurant crew greeted him: Hey?That was what I was about to order! A: Hay Fever. Humorous horses and their funny stories are the focus of these dirty horse jokes! These dinosaur jokes will crack you up! 91.) Why couldnt the horse get a verified Twitter account? A. Some of your non-horsey friends may become bored hearing about your latest tack buy, so tell them a funny joke, preferably a horse joke! Do you have a favorite joke about horses? Funny horse jokes, dumb horse puns, and a healthy round of "horse walks into a bar" jokes that are guaranteed to cause unbridled laughs. What did the waiter say to the horse?Can I get you a stable? Plus youll get a fun bonus Halloween Lunch Box Jokes Printable (30+ Days of Jokes). A: In the bridle suite. Where do horses live? The Desperado swears, steps back into the bar, and fires a round into the piano. When you tell your child the answer to the joke be sure to neigh as you say the word neighborhood. These horse jokes for kids are fun and enjoyable for everyone. That is something that normal people do not do. 4. Because these jokes are true barnburners, this piece is guaranteed to become a mane-stay in your library of comic bookmarks. 99.) Required fields are marked *, You need to agree with the terms to proceed. A: It bucked. A. A: Ralph Neigh-der. Now onto some more horse jokes. Why did the horse get an award?It was out standing in its field.How was the horse after the accident?In a stable condition.What do you call a horse thats a world traveler?A globe-trotter!Why did the foal go to the doctors?He was a little hoarse.What animal can you always rely on?Horses, cause their always stabled!What kind of vacuum cleaner do horses prefer?A Hoofer.Whats the quickest way to send a horse mail?Using the Pony Express.A man rode his horse to town on Friday. Horse jokes are better when they are short and sweet, so that's where this convenient list of horse jokes comes in handy. A pony goes to the doctor and tells him, Doc, I think Im dying. Then youve come to the right place. #1 for Parents and Teachers! joke of the week, A Desperado rides into town and downs a few drinks at the saloon. 24.) Q: Which side of a horse has the most hair? What do you call a horse that likes to stay up late? That's not my stable. Q: What did the waiter say to the horse? Some of the puns were too foal! Whats the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse? Stable tennis. A 19th century horse named 'Old Billy' is said to have lived 62 years. Do you know a horse joke that didnt make it on our list? 116 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Power 99.1: Dad Joke time! What do horses say when their food gets stolen?Hay come back! So lets see if our picks do the trick. 1. A: Perform an exhorsist. After a couple of days they'll ask for your feed back. Wow! says one, after a hushed silence. 8.) Required fields are marked *. . READ: Must-Know Tips for Effective Parenting 2. What do you call a horse that lives next door?Your neigh-bor. Q: How slow was the race horse? Q. Your email address will not be published. A. The barman asks: Why the long face?How do you spell Hungry Horse in four letters?MTGG.Lets drink Mint Juleps and horse around.A horse walks into a bar. Q: What show was the horse actor appearing in? JOKE: Where do horses live? 39.) Q: Who helps the horse stable cleaner? Find your favorite puns about horses, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this horse humor with others. Owning a horse can be serious business. In neigh-borhoods. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks. Today everyone owns cars and only the rich own horses.The stables have turned. Why are elephants wrinkled. A: A sawhorse. Q: Why did the cowboy feed his horse so much hay? Those long faces and massive teeth, on the other hand, can provide some horse jokes for pretty good belly laughs. A Sherbet! Q: How do they vote in the horse senate? Fortunately, one of the best things we can do is laugh at all of the amusing horse racing jokes that occur along the way. He tried to quit colt turkey, but it didnt work. (coarse) G-Horse - The pull of horses on you. The relentless poop-producers, the . One says to the other, You know, before that last race . 19.) A: The other half! 37.) If youre a horse nut like us, you love talking about horses all the time. Here is our top list of horse dad jokes. What is a cats favorite breakfast. The horse replies: I cant! Have you heard about the jockey who couldnt find a horse? Zachery loves to write in a variety of genres, so he can try new things. Unfortunately all the others came in at 12.30.Why couldnt the horse dance?Because he had two left feet.Who do ponies call when theyre possessed by demons?An ex-horse-ist!Name a horses favourite Baywatch actor?David Hasselhoof.A horse sits down in a movie theater and the woman next to him asks, Excuse me are you a horse?Why yes, I am, replies the horse.What are you doing at this movie?The horse says, I really liked the book.The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Q. He asks the horse's owner, "Why would you want to sell this fantastic animal?". Last but not least, we have picked out a few longer horse jokes, which you can use in a naturally flowing conversation (when the opportunity is fitting). You'll never be priority #1 in the relationship. A: A seahorse. She impressed all the horses with her whip and neigh neigh. If she doesnt wake up on time, she smells foal because she couldnt shower. Perfect for kids! Hey says the barman. Theyre injecting you with a drug to make you faster!, The first horse turns to the other and says, Hey, a talking dog!. The man replied, "I did. 40.) Where do horses live. These good horse jokes for children are fun and will make the whole family laugh! The best horse jokes always include a pun. These jokes about bears are great bear jokes for kids and adults. At this point, a fed up racehorse pokes his head round the corner and says Youre both pathetic, Ive won ninety-nine of my last hundred races, and only lost one because I was ill. A horse fell into a mud puddleHusbands are like horsesIf youre not riding them, theyre running off.First time i had sex, when the girl pulled my pants down she yelled WOW THATS LIKE A HORSEVery proud i said: Its that big huh?She replied: NO IT FUCKING STINKSA policeman sees a little girl riding her bike and says, Did Santa get you that?Yes, replies the little girl.Well, says the policeman, tell Santa to put a reflector light on it next year, and fines her $5.The girl looks up at the policeman and says, Nice horse youve got there, did Santa bring you that? The policeman chuckles and replies, He sure did!Well, says the little girl, next year, tell Santa the ass goes on the back of the horse and not on top of it.So a cowboy parks his horse at the saloon, ties him to the outside, kisses him on the ass, and walks in to have a stiff drink.The bar keeper saw this happen, and he just had to ask. These jokes about Minecraft are great Minecraft jokes for kids and adults. They're always surrounded by nature and fellow horses! What do you say to people that ride tall mares? Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. Yes please, says the horse. Which horse can jump higher than a house?All of them houses cant jump at all. They will always take offense! Q: Where do horses get their hair cut? Hey buddy you cant just leave that lyin there To which the man replies. She was horsing around! Riddle: Why did the cowboy only wear one spur? All; Latest Episodes; Fiction; Non-fiction; Kids; Gimlet. How did the pony get the bugs away. 17.) Why did the peanut get into a rocket. We hope so that reading this article of horse jokes was fun for you. Unfortunately all the others came in at 1230. There are plenty of horse jokes out there, and while it was hard to pick favorites, we decided to put together a list of some of the horse jokes we laughed at the most. Q. A cowboy buys a horse from the town pastor. Did you find a pun that could be your next great dad joke? For Nate Bargatze, it's his joke about seeing a dead horse. Q: Who were the two most famous horse theives? 77.) Did you hear about the pessimist pony?He was a neigh-sayer! Why wouldnt the quarter horse cross the river after the family picnic?He knew you shouldnt swim on a foal stomach. It is the second equine death this year at Britain's biggest racing meeting following the death of Envoye Special on day one. The bartender says, Hey., The horse says, Buddyyou read my mind!. What did the Mother Horse say to the foal?It is pasture bedtime. His life coach told him to get off his high horse. 48.) I didnt like the horse comedian that much. If so, we invite you to share them with your friends on social media or in person! When it comes to horses, having a good sense of humor comes in handy, but whether your life spend around your equine companions or not, there are some hilarious horse jokes that we can all appreciate. The dogs look at each other, amazed.Bloody hell, did you see that? The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Why are most horses in shape?Because they are on a stable diet. Why did the horse cross the road?Because somebody shouted Hey!. So saddle up, and enjoy the bouncy ride. Youll never find a horse using an Android phone.They only like Apples. Why dont jockeys like horse puns? A: He had the knight off. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer). He had bad stable manners. Thats not my assigned stable. Horses need wide open spaces for defense purposes, and they need some shelter, like trees or cliffs, to protect them from the elements. The next day he rode back on Friday. When its neck and neck. Check out the difference it made wh. Q: Where do horses shop for clothes? To make him drink is not. Go to Jokes r/Jokes Posted by drownradio. 65.) (In a whisper), your neigh-bor. 3.) In a bar, a horse walks in. Its also a sport where brilliant jokes are formed, and weve compiled a list of the finest horse racing jokes for your enjoyment! Why is the Kentucky Derby always done in the middle of spring? Do you know the best thing to keep your mane clean? Read on and check out the best jokes for kids! Why was the racehorse nicknamed News?Everyone knows that news travels fast. 15.) As a trained teacher and now private tutor, I help children learn math every day, and I use this blog to share some tips and tricks with parents like you. Help Ive fallen and I cant giddy up. More than 70,000 wild horses live on Western rangelands that can support only 27,000 animals. One day, a boy and his best friend were telling jokes to one another. What do you do?Get off the carousel once it stops. 2.When you hear gossip about a horse, you are basically listening to a neigh-sayer. A: The ground. They hay-te being left out! A: He says neigh to everything. A: Stop horsing around. The guy is gobsmacked, jaw-dropped and speechless. Sometimes, we start laughing until our throats are a little horse! What does every horse and rider do together?They age. Horses such as the mustang also range throughout North America. Q: Youre riding a horse full speed, theres a giraffe right beside you, and a lion nipping at your heels. Horses living in the wild survive in relatively severe conditions, within arid and semi-arid plains, grasslands, prairies, deserts, and badlands. All; Latest Episodes; Fiction; Non-fiction; Kids; Gimlet. 6.) Q. What is black and white and eats like a horse?A zebra. A: A zebra. Want more animal jokes? The barman confuses idioms with jokes and offers him a glass of water, but can't make him drink. The outside. 95.) Where do horses go when theyre sick?The horsepital.A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. Girls who have horses have zero time for much life outside of taking care of the horse. Why did the foal get in trouble at school? Your email address will not be published. A horse walks into a bar. A: They age. The one that you won? asks the other horse. Who did the pony audition for in the school play?The mane part. 5. Horses live in every region of the world except Antarctica and the northern Arctic regions of North America Europe and Asia. What did the horse say when it fell?Ive fallen and I cant giddyup!. A horse was euthanised following a fall in the third race on the final day of the Aintree Festival. Ive fallen and I cant giddy-up. What kind of horse is the fastest?A pregnant one, because it has 2 horsepower. "I thought you were going to take that horse to the farm!". Whyd ya kiss your horse on the ass before coming in? His horse was not tired, he wasn't sleepy and took rest. Q: Who is in charge of horse town? What looks like half a horse?The other half. The horse says, "Dude you read my . Almost all wild horses are feral horses that are descended from domesticated horses. If you dont believe it, you wont until youve run them pasture eyeballs. 51.) Q: How do you make a small fortune on horse racing? 10.) Its a cult classic! What did the horse grow in her garden?Horse radishes. A: He liked being a herd animal. Phew! the cowboy sighs. I need a stable income., A horse walks into a school and says hey. It got colt feet! 17. If you're enjoying these horse jokes, you might like our popular article 17 OF Our Favorite Equestrian Memes. They move from place to place in search of shelter, vegetation, and adequate water. A: He took a gallop poll. If you need a pick-me-up or a little laughter, these 55 horse jokes should do just the trick! How do you save a horse possessed by an evil spirit?Perform an ex-horse-ism. Q: What did the race horse order from the bakery? I provide direction on the most important math concepts you need to focus on with your children. Horse jokes are better when they are short and sweet, so thats where this convenient list of horse jokes comes in handy. Have fun having a laugh! Most horses are domesticated, which means they live alongside humans. I had the worst nightmare ever! My horse said. Why did the skinny man start eating hay?The doctor told him to gain weight, he needed to eat like a horse! Neigh-braska Horses living in Neigh-braska are lucky. What makes a horse sneeze? 79.) A horse walks into a restaurant. How do you get a jockey to wait a moment?Tell him to hold his horses. Knock Knock Knock. Q: What do you name a horse you root for? Shows. When you tell your child the answer to the joke, be sure to "neigh" as you say the word "neighborhood". It's little wonder that horses remain one of the most popular animals in the world they're just such an amazing mix of power and beauty. What fruit do twins love. 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Don't do it boys this horse girl is looking for pointers to hide her crazy. 87.) Why did the horse eat with its mouth open? "A _____ walks into a bar" is a common start to a joke. He forgot to put more mon-hay into his barn account. Q: Which route do crazy horses take through the woods? The rest of the field came in at twelve-thirty.. It's a horse. Youre riding a horse full speed, theres a giraffe right beside you, and a lion behind you. A horse stopped right in the middle of the road because someone shouted "Hay"! Q: What do you call an equine carpenter? We had a substitute today. A horse walks into work looking very sad. Thank God!. Youll find more funny jokes for kids here: 2017-2023 Michael & Gabriel, Inc. - All Rights Reserved. Why dont you look into a horses mouth? 80.) These boys were some of the nicest kids and would never say a dirty joke. Every time you hear one of these jokes, youll be spinning around like a wild horse! A neigh-bour. What do you call an insincere small horse?A phony pony. A: They both hold the reins. Here are 80 funny water jokes and the best water puns to crack you up. If you want to make your day and lift your mood, look no further. A: The Broncos. She swears her neighbor is in a colt! Dont miss these unfunny anti-jokes that youll still laugh at anyway. A horse walks into a bar. Posts about horses written by That Blue Girl. A: He was a disk jockey from Filly. Here are 65 funny horse jokes and the best horse puns to crack you up. Disclaimer: If that really happens, we are not responsible, and you should go and visit the nearest horsepital. A: He thought it would make it softer to ride on. Lets continue our list with a few short horse jokes that are a bit different. He de-neighed all accusations. Excuse me, good sir, the horse says, are you hiring?, The manager looks the horse up and down and says, Sorry, pal. What street do horses like to live on? What street do horses live on. Did these horse puns give you a hoof and a holler! A: I can't take your order. What kind of food do racehorses like to eat? The vet said, Yes, of course and I think you will probably win. We've got the silliest Horse Jokes in town! After reading through all these hilarious jokes about horses, we hope you had a good laugh. I recently bought a horse and I decided to name him Mayo.Mayo neighs. Q: Where do Knights park their horses? The little pony dreamt of joining the Air Horse one day. Stable tennis.