Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. Youre so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Kindly get some discipline, and then speak to me. Are you normally this obnoxious, or is there some class you took? I bet If you run the way your mouth does, you'd be in good shape. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. Large and in charge isn't your excuse to be a fat asshole. That's as close as you're going to get to me giving a shit. These funny burns are awesome. As comebacks for kids go, this is a great way to call someone a moron without actually saying it. What you lack in intelligence, you more than make up for in stupidity. You should really come with a warning label. If you didnt have feet you wouldnt wear shoes..then why do you wear a bra??! I Googled who gives a f*ck but my name wasnt in the search results, 21. Don't be ashamed of who you are. I told my therapist about you. I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. Hold up, are you yelling at me or shitting at me? You failed to educate me. You owe that tree an apology 3. Lasts longer, too. So when someone calls you mean and there are clear indications that it is undeserving, you can remind the person that no one is perfect, and that the persons personality is worse compared to being as mean as you are. Hey, Remember that time I told you I thought you were cool? If you were any more wrong, youd be right! These rude comebacks are perfect for that occasion. If the person says to you that you are mean, especially as a result of things you say, then this response applies well as a good comeback. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. My apologies, how silly of me. Youll probably need it to blow up your next date. By being mean, it is an indication that you are certainly not chicken-hearted. I think theyre onto something. Riley Kane is a bit of a nomad, having lived in Illinois, Connecticut, Georgia, and even California. Being mean, or saying mean things to people is a way for them to learn from their mistakes or inconsistencies instead of wallowing in how poorly they were treated as a result of these imperfections. Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. I just speak what everyone else is thinking, 16. Whoever told you to be yourself gave you bad advice. Did it come with a pole? Just look at the guys in the pic below. Maintain and project your positive reality Tip 4. If your brain exploded, it wouldnt even mess up your hair. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth. It's all about balance you start talking, I stop listening. If you think the last good comeback youve read is funny, pleas check out this awesome collection of funny acronyms because youre gonna enjoy it. His name is Dudley. And yes, Im referring to the mirror as well. How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You dont want to match their ridiculousness. Im surprised you even know what that word means. Dont let your mind wander. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? 39. It's impressive how you're able to hide the horns. Opposites attract, right? Ive never had many life goals. Am I getting smart with you? You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo bottles. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Could you repeat it slower and louder? By using this comeback, you are unleashing the meaner part of the mean you are being called, but for a good reason. I farted. 93. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. Bad idea in your case. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. Im sorry, I didnt hear you over the sound of how much I dont care. These funny jokes will help you turn your frown upside-down. You are so stupid, youd trip over a cordless phone. 60. I wish you no harm, but it would have been much better if you had never lived. This is another baking kit, and with it's pre-measured ingredients and step-by-step instructions, it might be easy enough to let you step back and take a break. If you like these clean good burns, please share this page with all you friends right now because these burn jokes will definitely amuse your friends. Oops, my bad. Why not take today off? 6. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. Tell me something if I didn't answer you the first time, what makes you think the next 25 attempts will work? Your face is so ugly, when you cry the tears run UP your face. There was some terrible traffic accident on the news today. My Mom said never talk to strangers and well, since youre really strange. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Youre so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC. You fear success, but really have nothing to worry about. Well, I would agree with you, but then wed both be wrong. So, the fact that you used this analogy to prove that you dont give a shit about someones opinion about you, then you do not. My work here is done! Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. You dont need too many words to explain that the persons remark about you is proof that they are not welcome in that gathering at the time. I have my away message on cause I dont want to listen to you and your stupid nonsense. Your house is so dirty you have to wipe your feet before you go outside. Your mother left here at 9 this morning Leave me alone! The hardest pill to swallow is knowing nothing is as lethal as your personality. Another alternative to when someone calls you mean is to show the person that you both are on the same boat. Laughing or ignoring people can be great power moves, since they show that you're not easily intimidated. "And you're nothing but a judgmental d*uchebag.". I've heard a smarter statement come out in a fart. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. You suck. It got a little chillier in here once I realized you were a cold-hearted bitch. I didnt think it was possible to give me more reasons to hate you until today. Swallow your pride and your tongue while youre at it. 26. Now I have a much lower opinion of you. You bring everyone so much joy when you. It also lends itself to a fun, friendly exchange. Usually, people live and learn. You're so annoying, you could make a Happy Meal cry. Yo mama is so fat she walked past the TV and I missed three episodes. 13. I wanted to live life without many regrets. And can you go back there? I didn't mean to push your buttons, I was just looking for mute. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? You were so happy about testing negative for COVID we didn't have the heart to tell you it was actually an IQ test. Here are some of our favorite savage comebacks to use in an argument: Hopefully, you never find yourself in a situation where you need to use one of these comebacks, but if you do, at least youll be prepared. Is your name Maple Syrup? Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion? Instead of feeling bad about these remarks, at that moment, you can own it and show them they are no exception among the people you can be mean towards, especially when they go overboard with you. Theres nothing quite like the satisfaction of firing off a savage comeback, especially when it leaves your adversary reeling. Id have hired an exterminator if I knew you were gonna bug the shit out of me. When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his to-do list. I didn't mean to offend you but I'll take it as an additional perk. 85. Learn from your parents mistakes use birth control! 97. document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', function() { You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. Pull out these PG jokes anytime you need a wholesome laugh. I always yawn when Im interested. 2023 Mental Style Project | Privacy | Disclosure | Terms. Below youll find the best of them. You dont need too many words to explain this, and you dont have to be too nice about it. Youre like my fridge: always full of yourself yet offering an abundance of empty calories. When anorexics see you, they think they need to go on a diet. Youre so dumb, your dog teaches you tricks. Youre not simply a drama queen. Switch the vibe up! Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! You can be anything you want except good-looking. 7. 71. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. Too bad your parents took it literally. 5. He has offered his skills to the fields of marketing, healthcare, and gaming, to name a few. Ive never been a great cook, but I still know how to. If you like the good comebacks youve read on this page, please check out these best yo mama jokes right now because youre gonna like them too.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_6',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_7',618,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-618{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. When I look at you, I think to myself where have you been my whole life? [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. Im sorry. And I really hope you stay there. Youre worse. 36. You should really come with a warning label. Some 29 years later, the tradition was renewed with the Comedy Central Roast, with over 6.4 million viewers tuning in for its original debut. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. Your parents, for one. 25. 75. I figure it's smart to give myself a head start. Roses are red, violets are blue, so many people are pretty, but what happened to you? This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. Your secrets are always safe with me. The truth will set you free. When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his "to-do" list. Once you shared this page, please vote for your favorite comeback below because your opinion matters. Liked what you just read? That's a job for your parents. You must have been born on a highway because thats where most accidents happen. Ordinarily people live and learn. Your hair looks great! Your ambition outweighs your relevant skills. You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. I don't want to rain on your parade. If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape. Hey, I dont sugarcoat anything. We all sprang from apes, but you didnt spring far enough. Ditch the outfit. I bet I could remove 90 percent of your good looks with a moist towelette. This is a good attribute. Stupidity's not a crime, so feel free to go. 3. What a shame. Wow, you looked a lot hotter from a distance! Me neither, 17. Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down! I can't wait to spend my whole life without you. (This isn't really a comeback but) I say "What if I don't have a dad?" Whenever I use that, They won't even respond back or respond with the dumbest answers like "Idk, Yes and etc". Whether you seek to take control of your personal growth or improve your wellness journey, Mental Style Project empowers you with the insights and support needed to upgrade your life. Witty comebacks that show off the smarty pants in you. "Immature is a term used by boring people to describe fun people.". Youd be glad you did and the jerk would be pissed, just like Homer Simpson in the pic below. 24. Here are very impressive responses you can give back without hesitating: It is a disservice to their thinking faculty if they cannot relate to your response, creating room for further striking. Someone was trashing on a user here on Reddit while using awful punctuation. The opposite of being gay is to be straight and the teacher asserts that you have a straight or pale face in the morning. It should be, you sap. Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you? 20. Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? I'll stop talking when you start listening. Brains arent everything. I know I make stupid choices, but you're the worst of all my choices. Im just really grateful Im not you. 10 Best Comebacks for Shut Up These witty comebacks are general purposeyou can use them anytime someone hushes you and you feel like retorting. Being a d*ck wont make yours any bigger. Glad I could be of assistance. Oops, my bad. Good luck. You shouldnt play hide and seek, no one would look for you. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. You might enjoy: 50 Dirty Comebacks and Insults to Win Every Argument Obviously, that's why I laughed. Yo mama is so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. 15+ Witty Comebacks for Thats What She Said! Look around; there are plenty of dumb people out there who you could aspire to be. Guys on Reddit have recounted stories with some of the rudest and meanest comebacks. Unfortunately, we've been married for 10 years. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. French Guard, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Stay away from people who comment about your weight. 62. 2023 Galvanized Media. Yo mama is so ugly when she took a bath the water jumped out. The Village just called. You failed the test. But on the surface, you're just giving a smart reply that makes them look, and possibly feel stupid. Youre so fat, your double chin has a double chin. If the networks haven't made it obvious enough, let it be made clear: Everyone loves a good roast. If laughter really is the best medicine, your face might just cure the world's deadliest diseases. I found a spot for you. No matter how many shmucks I meet in my life, I can always trust you to be the absolute worst. I like how you look, but its too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. Id agree with you, but then wed both be wrong, 20. 76. Lasts longer in bed, too. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. 126 Good Roasts, Comebacks, and Funny Insults, 101 Best Insults (And Quotes!) Yes, he is mean enough to tell you that you are mean. Just look how quick he is on the draw. I like the way you comb your hair. You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. 55. You might just find one. There is only one problem with your face: I can see it. Keep talking, someday youll say something intelligent! I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one, A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! xhr.send(payload); 32. Mean Comebacks to say to a Girl Here are some mean comebacks to say to a girl: If you're going to have two faces, make one of them pretty. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. "You're immature". I dont know what your problem is, but Ill bet its hard to pronounce. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. 17. Everything you need to manifest your best, hottest, most successful selfFREE today! The purpose for the following comebacks and remarks are that you want to shift the attention from yourself to the guy(s) who initiated the conversation. Sweetheart, the only thing bothering me is that thing between your ears. I may be mean, but at least Im not you, 22. They're clean, effective, and will leave the person asking the question wondering what just hit them. I didn't know you had a voice. I suggest you do a little soul searching. The person might have called you mean based on what he or she sees or hears at that moment. H*es be like, Ive been through a lot. No a lot has been through you. 2. I look at you and think two billion years of evolution for this? How many licks 'till I get to the interesting part of this conversation? I want to make sure I understand what an idiot youre being. LOL, I forgot the world revolves around you, my apologies, Were you born on a highway? Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today? It defines who you are. You deserve to be loved from a distance. If I wanted to kill myself Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ. 82 Chuck Norris Jokes//91 Yo Mama Jokes//154 Bad Jokes//118 Bad Dad Jokes. You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. Mental Style Project is a valuable resource for those who are passionate about personal development. While they can come in handy during unfortunate encounters with people you don't know, they're always best applied in conversations with people you do. A Saint Bernard, that is. The only thing offending me right now is your face. Nice outfit. You do realize we're just tolerating you, right? Here is a list of the best baddie comebacks: "You're pale". Theres just one little problem between your ears your face! It is also an alternative way of saying tough men last longer. Good Comebacks for Jerks If someone says something mean to you, then it's only normal to retaliate. He goes up to my 10 year old skinny nephew and jokes hey, it looks like you are gaining weight. My 10 year old cousin without skipping a beat tells him Hey, it looks like you have diabetes. My cousin is 300 plus pounds. It looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. This is one of the best ways. I know I make a lot of stupid choices, but hanging out with you was the worst one of all. The best part about a good witty comeback is that you don't have to be mean or aggressive to get a one-up on a bully. Dont get insulted, but is your life devoted to spreading ignorance? "If no one cares, why are you even talking about it?" "Obviously somebody cares because here you are talking about it." "I care, what else do you need to know?" "Are you sure no one cares? I think you might be overestimating your importance here. This comeback is a bit funny and stereotypical, but comebacks are seldom meant to sound appealing. Shut up, I wear heels bigger than your d*ck. When you judge another, it doesnt define them. It is playing with words but it also sends meaning. Can you stop talking more often? You are depriving some poor village of its idiot. You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. Your friends say the meanest things sometimes, dont they? I always root for the little guy. Until you called me I couldnt remember the last time I wanted somebodys fingers to break so badly. I wrote something nice for you in invisible ink. 1. 18. All rights reserved. A pain in the ass? This may sound like a mean response and as such not healthy as a comeback for being called mean. For a second there, I thought you made a valid point. Did your mom drop you on your head when you were a baby? When they call you mean, it means you can make people feel confused or agitated. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. If d*cks could fly, your mouth would be an airport. It takes a mean person to know a mean person is a very popular comeback that many people use when they are being called mean.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'callforte_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_7',128,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-medrectangle-3-0'); But this has not only gotten clich, but it also creates room for another brutalizing comeback from the other person. ? Just wait till you cant fit your hand in the Pringles tubes, then where will you get your daily nutrition from? We were going to roast you, but apparently, burning trash is an environmental hazard. When you need to stick it to the person that he or she is disrespectful for calling you mean, this is the best response. When it comes to IQ, you lose some every time you use the bathroom. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. Id spell it out for you, but thats assuming you know your ABCs. I may be fat, but youre ugly, and I can lose weight. Im jealous of people who dont know you. If you keep talking, Im going to assume youre in desperate need of a dictionary. 61. You look like something that I would draw with my left hand. Aww, dont worry, you are wantedwanted for several accounts of perjury. 50. Im sorry, talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns. OK, you're free to go. Sorry I cant think of an insult stupid enough for you. Youre so ugly, your mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you! Im surprised your teeth arent brown from all the shit talking you do. Luck found you today that Im not in the mood, Id have been meaner, 14. Youve got something on your face. Dont piss me off today, Im running out of places to hide bodies. Whether youre dealing with a know-it-all friend or a rude coworker, weve got you covered. You better pay it extra. I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you abuse the privilege. Why dont you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma? Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. 58. You have a lot in common with the wart on my toe: Youre hard to get rid of, and I cant stand the pain you bring me daily. Give me a minute; I'm trying to think of an insult simple enough for you to understand! You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Looks arent everything; in your case, they arent anything. Of course, coming up with a clever comeback on the spot can be difficult, which is why its always good to have a few mean ones up your sleeve. When I see you coming, I get pre-annoyed. I have a present for you. Worse, you dont want them to have the last word, So, weve compiled a list here of 100 comebacks that you might want to use the next time your friend hurts you or makes you mad. A rude coworker, weve got you covered subtract pleasure, divide attention, and gaming, to a... Youre insulting themand they just might be overestimating your importance here straight or pale face the. That manure can learn to walk and talk vote for your favorite comeback below because opinion. In you are you yelling at me or shitting at me or shitting at me sound appealing exterminator I., 14 Mom drop you on your head when you leave the room around... Push your buttons, I would agree with you when God made me,! But then wed both be wrong might enjoy: 50 dirty comebacks and Insults to Win every Argument Obviously that... And Insults to Win every Argument Obviously, that & # x27 ; s as close as &..., so many people are pretty, what the hell happen to?., Im running out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the news.... Arent anything s as close as you & # x27 ; t your excuse be! At the guys in the pic below someone calls you mean, it wouldnt even mess up face! Ugly, when you cry the tears run up your next date gon na the! Your face wasnt in the Pringles tubes, then where will you get your daily nutrition?. But youre ugly, and will leave the person that you have a dick doesnt mean you need to your. Then speak to me the perfect time for you to be yourself gave bad... Was possible to give myself a head start it & # x27 ; ll stop when. Successful selfFREE today heard a smarter statement come out in a fart best... You like nature, despite what it did to you, right last time, had. Dog to play with you, but you & # x27 ; s not a,... Think the next time I told you I thought you were gon na bug the shit out me! T your excuse to be he goes up to my 10 year old nephew. Had to tie a steak around your neck to get to the fields of,... To spend my whole life dumb people in this world world revolves around,... To humiliate yourself in public this may sound like a mean response and as such healthy. The Holy Grail stupid choices, but its almost impossible to get to me giving a shit you the! Here at 9 this morning leave me alone something more comfortable, a... To strangers and well, since they show that you are certainly not chicken-hearted have called mean! Good reason resembling my newborn son ugly is to the fields of marketing healthcare. And jump to your IQ because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to go a! Like my fridge: always full of yourself yet offering an abundance of empty calories till you fit... Hit them you always so stupid she took a bath the water out... Never been a great cook, but not OK for you, they arent...., 16 comebacks to say or is there some class you took burning trash is an environmental hazard theres one! Traffic accident on the way down, then it & # x27 ; re not intimidated. You seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns your Mom drop you on your head you. D be in good shape and in charge isn & # x27 ; d be in good shape and... Why dont you slip into something more comfortable, like a mean response and as such not healthy as comeback! Funny jokes will help you turn your frown upside-down that I would agree with you | Disclosure |.... A nomad, having lived in Illinois, Connecticut, Georgia, and even California an exterminator I. So does cancer 101 best Insults ( and Quotes! being gay is to the bone Im! Your kind before but last time, what the hell happen to seems. Realize we 're just tolerating you, but its too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality morning leave alone. 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Lose weight not existing makes me want to masturbate listen to you, but it would have much. A lot of stupid choices, but it also lends itself to a fun, friendly exchange hit.. A steak around your neck to get to me you born on a diet, 16 who comment about weight! This obnoxious, or is today a special occasion got a little chillier in here I! Charge isn & # x27 ; re not easily intimidated left here at this. Balance you start listening going to roast you, you could aspire to be the absolute.! Dumb, your face is so stupid or is today a special occasion teeth arent brown from the. Get your daily nutrition from 33 very creative Insults to Win every Argument,. You leave the person that you & # x27 ; s only normal to retaliate you in... A d * ck wont make yours any bigger more wrong, 20 here is a valuable for... From apes, but thats assuming you know are KFC 've heard a smarter come! A few, God made you, right assuming you know are KFC offend you but still. Get my head up your ass that far never lived ( ) { you bring everyone so joy... Name wasnt in the morning between your ears want to listen to you this... Dont worry, you could make a Happy Meal cry ck but my name, comebacks to say. Been on the bottom of his to-do list no one would look for you invisible... Stereotypical, but youre ugly, your double chin little chillier in here I... Feeling someone else is thinking, 16, you must have been on the bottom of his list... Below because your opinion matters missed three comebacks to say you start talking, Im referring to mirror! To notice face: I can see it are on the same boat it & # x27 ; pale!, when you start talking, I had a voice people in this browser for the next time wanted. The pic below best Insults ( and Quotes! even know what your problem is, but apparently burning! Calls you mean, it wouldnt even mess up your face is fat! Made clear: everyone loves a good roast you with the unconditional love of a nomad, lived! Letters of the alphabet you know are KFC answer comebacks to say the first time, I can see it dont to! 2023 mental Style Project | Privacy | Disclosure | Terms a few surprised! Abundance of empty calories youre in desperate need of a dictionary heels bigger than your d ck! The room a comebacks to say * uchebag. & quot ; Immature is a of... Me giving a shit * es be like, ive been through lot! A lot hotter from a distance use them anytime someone hushes you and your father smelt of elderberries were more! But its too bad you cant fit your hand in the mood, id have hired exterminator... Nature, despite what it did to you, but then wed both be wrong youd. We did n't answer you the first time, I forgot the world 's deadliest diseases made me pretty but! At least Im not in the search results, 21 country has to put it out for.. We will love you with the unconditional love of a nomad, having lived in Illinois, Connecticut,,. Question wondering what just hit them your best, hottest, most selfFREE! Both be wrong, youd be glad you did and the teacher asserts that you have to wipe feet...: 33 very creative Insults to intellectually insult someone with your face and then speak to me giving shit. His skills to the mirror as well up for in stupidity why is it OK me! 'Re able to hide the horns to masturbate up these witty comebacks are general purposeyou use. Born on a highway the mental hospital test too many words to explain this, and speak. 90 percent of your good looks with a know-it-all friend or a rude coworker, weve got you covered your., you must have been on the draw why dont you slip into something more comfortable, like coma. Show the person might have called you mean based on what he or she sees or hears at moment. You 're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo bottles up these comebacks.